Had another one of those kind of 'AHA' moments tonight... It took alot of circumstances to get to it, but, it did present itself...
Earlier tonight, at the Mall... Playing in the indoor playground or the 'fruit' (which actually is not fruit anymore It's been replaced with ships and trucks and slides, but I will always know it as 'the fruit'...
Ellie came to me and told me that a little boy had called her a 'Monster'... Not the first time we've been to this rodeo, so Ellie know that I would handle the situation and she stayed composed...
Figured out who the little boys Mom was and approached her gently... You never know how Mommas are going to react... I explained to her what happened and that this would be a great opportunity to talk to her son about how some people are different and calling names just makes other kids sad... She was 100% receptive and we both had a chance to talk to her son and they were both awesome...
Win/ Win
A short time later... I hear someone yelling to me, "What school does SHE go to???". I wasn't sure of the intent of the question, so I surveyed the environment quickly... I noticed that she was pushing a stroller that held a small child, I thought maybe 3, who had a very severe cleft as well as other facial and cognitive anomolies... I switched modes and began to talk to her about how Ellie had attended a local school during Pre-K 3 and 4 that was awesome and the should look into it...
She started to posture and make random yells across the store... "You don't need to stare at her!... What's wrong with you?... Would you like it if I just stared at you!..."
I tried to talk to her about how kids are mostly just curious, and education is a much better reaction than confrontation, but she really did not want to listen... And, if nothing else, I know how to shut up...
Lose/Lose
We talked a little more about her daughter and I discovered that she was 5 years old and had a very rare genetic condition and she had survived much longer than anyone else with this syndrome... She went on to complain about how her daughter needed OT/PT/ST and she just couldn't get it... I asked her where she was looking and she told me that her daughter was enrolled in a local daycare... No Early Steps, no Intervention... I tried to talk to her about local resources that were available to her and even tried to get her number or give her a number to a good friend who is so involved in the system and could get her in touch with the things that she needed, but she rebuffed the offer....
We wound up just parting ways... But, it made me sad.... and it made me think...
What if I had let MY circumstances just make me bitter and hardened... Unwilling to look for, or accept help and advice... Where would Ellie be know in her development? Where would I be? Would I just be filled with anger and solitude?
I know that I did not fully take advantage of all of the things that I could have for Ellie. I know how hard it is to ask for help. To admit that you need help...
I am so grateful that I chose to be a champion and advocate for my child, rather than be angry about our circumstance...
I shudder at the thought of having become angry or bitter...
I am grateful everyday that my circumstance has resulted in me having a softer heart and an open mind...
Reason # 3,516
Good blog! It's interesting how a future can be so different just like that from making first decisions on the day a baby with anomalies were born. I'm so fortunate to have a educated, open minded woman as my mom. She was ready to be a mother! She still my advocate, my partner, my mama! I "shared" a video on FB earlier. My mom and my aunt are the only people that really took the time to learn about what I was born with and they wanted to get to know me. They use my "difference" as a opportunity. Not shame or embarrassment.
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